Another reason to be jolly at Christmas Time...

Thank you National Lampoon

Ooooh, midnight in the ghetto street
A desperate boy, he wants somethin' t' eat
('Cause he's dead on his feet)
To "The Man" in the squad car, it's just his "beat"
(He don't care, he don't live there...)
He lives in Queens
(Not Manhattan or The Bronx, or, Brooklyn --Ahhhh, oooooh!)

A thief on the roof, a mugger in the hall
(Stick 'em up, stick 'em up!)
A baby on the floor, eatin' paint off the wall
(How's he gonna grow tall?)
But, there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all
(When ev'ry race has a smile on it's face...)

Ooooh...

Junkie on the corner, the Pusher uptown
Diggin' the Yuletide, Santa's gettin' down
Holiday colors of red and green
Turkey's big and fat and The Gangsta Lean
Numbers runner stops for a chat
The Apollo doorman tips his hat
And he says:

"Have a Kung-Fu Christmas!"

Livin' in The Ghetto, you always lose
They'll shoot ya' for your socks
And, they'll stick ya' for your shoes
When you're a Super Bad dude,
You pay Super Bad dues
(Where fear and strife is a way of life...)

But, there's a man comin' today
With lots of loot
He's got a Pimp-mo-sleigh,
A red and white fur suit
He's a SuperFly guy;
And, he's awful cu-u-ute
(He's about to arrive, bringing Jingle Bell Jive!)

Santa Claus is makin' the Soul Train scene
Slickin' down his beard with Afro Sheen®
Eeny meeny and miney mo
Frost in your hair, and snow up your nose
Diamond in the back, trimmed with holly
My girls are on the street, an' I'm feelin' jolly
Christmas Eve's comin' with the last-minute bustle
Santa tells the elves "You'd better do The Hustle"

Music by Paul Shaffer and Christopher Guest
Lyrics by Brian Doyle-Murray, Bill Murray, and Gilda Radner

I couldn't say it any better than this...

Please read my friend Josh's post about teen bullying in Cy-Fair ISD (where we both went to school).

http://makingcopy.com/

Thank you Josh for your words and your brave heart.

11 things that make me terribly happy (in no particular order)

As I've been re-entering the blogosphere I've been catching up with some of my favorite blog reading as well. I stumbled onto The Rockstar Diaries one day last year when a regular read led to another site which led to another which led to a site discussing the author's fantastic sense of fashion and wonderful photos. I kept reading RD because the story these two are creating with the life they are building together is so uplifting and hopeful and sweet...and not the cloying kind of high-fructose sweet that makes your teeth ache, but the honest, pure sweetness of romance and art and love (le sigh).

Anywho - there have been a series of posts on Mrs. Davis' blog regarding happiness and I thought it only fitting that I jump on her list-making band-wagon. But I'm making mine 11:

11 things that make me terribly happy

1. When Kevin tells me “seriously that’s the best thing you’ve ever cooked” no matter what I feed him
2. Music that squeezes my heart
3. Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Chunk Ice Cream
4. The sound of trains
5. Wonderful foreign films filled with beautiful color
6. When Hiro decides to nap IN my lap, and not just next to it
7. A good play
8. Accordions – to see and to hear
9. Singing at the top of my lungs while cruising down Lake Shore Drive
10. Putting two dryer sheets in the laundry just for that extra bit of smell-good
11. Reading about others' happiness and letting it inform my own

Oh lists how you bother me so...

I ran across this "Best of" list on Entertainment Weekly's website today. Of course, no one will agree with any of these kinds of lists...it's easy to see the list is more heavily influenced by characters from the most recent years in the 20-year span, and many characters have yet to prove they will stand the test of pop-culture time. But I will concentrate on what were, for me, the two most glaring errors.

6. Rachel Green from Friends

I want to be clear here - I am a huge fan of Friends and always have been. My husband is a near addict, and I must confess to being his enabler. We talk about episodes and characters as if they were our actual Friends. Hell, there were times in college when the Friends WERE my actual friends. I love all my Friends equally...ok mostly equally. And by mostly I mean depending on which season we're discussing. Let's just say were I to hand out cookies to my Friends, I'd make sure Chandler and Joey got the biggest ones, and I'd sneak Phoebe a second cookie when the others weren't looking. This is no slight to Ross, Monica, and Rachel mind you - they would still get cookies. But back to the glaring error...

While I love the character Rachel (almost) as much as I love all the other Friends, I would not have singled her out as one of the top 100 characters of the past 20 years. Yes I know, Rachel abandoning her fiancé at the alter was the inciting incident for the series. Yeah, I know she did the whole spoiled-girl-strikes-out-on-her-own-and-gets-a-job thing. Believe me, I KNOW the Ross + Rachel will-they-won't-they-on-off romance will live on in TV infamy.

But what was so special about the character Rachel? What made her so iconic? Was it that her stylists gave her a haircut millions would emulate? Perhaps it was because Rachel was played by a beautiful actor? Maybe it’s because said actor would marry the most coveted man in Hollywood during her 10-year run as Rachel? None of these things make Rachel viable in the "best in 20 year" list. Let’s not confuse huge star with huge character. If we're talking greatest characters of the past 20 years EVER? No way. I wouldn’t say Rachel was the best character on the show, let alone in the past 20 years.

Not only are there regular characters on Friends that are greater (see who got the best/most cookies above), but there were some phenomenal guest characters as well. How about Eddie, Chandler’s short-lived crazy roommate? Who else could emote such feeling for a gold fish cracker, or delight so heartily in food dehydration? And – Oh…my…gosh, who could forget Janice? She could quite possibly be one of the most memorable girlfriends-you-just-can’t-stay-away-from-no-matter-how-much-you-want-to-kill-her of all time!

But the true beauty of Friends, the real magic, was never about one particular character in the show. Think about your favorite episodes…How would “The One Where No One Is Ready” “The One With The Embryos” “The One Where Everyone Finds Out” “The One with All The Football” “The One Where Ross Got High” or “The One With Chandler In The Box” rank on your list of favorites? There’s a reason why these episodes (and others like them) are listed over and over as favorites. In each of these episodes, all or most of the 6 Friends spend all or most of their time in the same location. These Friends were greater than the sum of thier parts, and they were always at their best when they were together.

Friends was about ensemble work, period. Hell, it’s all right there in the name. If this EW list pairs others as a whole due to the iconic tethering of their characters (see Thelma + Louise and Lorallie + Rory Gilmore) then so should they list the characters of Friends as a whole.

I posit spot #6 should be "Monica, Rachel, Phoeby, Ross, Chandler and Joey from Friends."


to be continued for the second glaring error...

So we're gonna watch movies like it's 1999

I was browsing a list on yahoo (100 Movies to See Before You Die: Modern Classics Edition) and noticed that 1999 was a banner year for modern film. Of the 19 years included (1990 - 2009) the year 1999 had more inclusions than any other - 10% of the 100 listed to be precise. According to Yahoo (who chose movies based on their artistry, originality, and pure cinematic entertainment) 1999's 10 prized films are:

All About My Mother (Todo sobre mi madre)
American Beauty
Being John Malkovich
Election
Fight Club
The Matrix
Princess Mononoke (Mononoke-hime) R
un Lola Run (Lola rennt)
The Sixth Sense
Three Kings

There are a couple on that list that I might not list as my all-time favorites, but they would qualify as runners-up (Election, Run Lola Run) and a few I thought were very good upon initial viewing, and still get sucked into when they're on the tele (The Sixth Sense, The Matrix). But if I were stranded on an island and could only bring 10 films with me, well, I'd have a very hard time narrowing the list to only 10...But 3 top contenders are on the 1999 list - American Beauty, Being John Malkovich, and Fight Club.

After seeing these movies, I remember thinking that the art of filmmaking was experiencing a renaissance. I thought, FINALLY Big Hollywood (BH) was opening up to story telling that didn't follow the same beaten path. After all, these weren't small indie films; they were big studio, big budget, big star movies. I thought the financial success of these fantastic films meant that American audiences were FINALLY relinquishing their hold on standard realism and opening themselves up to the possibility that great stories with incredible intelligence and heart could be told in non-traditional ways, and without the cookie-cutter BH happy ending. These films took so much "American Dream," cracked it wide open, and exposed its corrupt and deadening underbelly for all to see. And we, the audiences, looked at these film-as-mirror reflections and sighed with relief - "It's not just you" these films said "it's everyone. The insurance guy with the sterile IKEA apartment? The seemingly-perfect family? John Malkovich? Every single one of them is fucked up."

I wonder now, looking at this list, if 1999 was a special year in film because it was 1999. Was there some great underlying fear of Y2K pushing us (and BH) out of our comfort zones a la Lester Burnham? Was it turn-of-the-century collective conscience opening us all to a twisted search for self on the 7th-and-a-half floor of an office building in the middle of the night? Perhaps we were finally giving in to our own Tyler Durdens, and giving a big fat blow-up-the-credit-card-industry finger to our self-help loving, furniture-assembling, status obsessed culture.

I can’t say for certain that timing had any quantitative effect at all on the makings of these films – they were likely in some stage of concept or production well before the last year of the last century of the last millennium any of us will know to begin with the number 1. I do know these films were brave, they were letting it all out, partying like it was the year of their release, and if they taught us nothing else we should all remember this: if we are not our fucking khakis, then neither should be our art.

Conversation During the Grammys

Most people know what THE LIST is, but for those who don't (or who never saw that episode of "Friends") THE LIST is a record of 5 celebrities one is allowed to bed without retribution by one's significant other. It's pure fantasy, but apparently even my fantasy life needs rules. So, Kevin and I have a deal where by some list-nominees are sanctioned (Kate Bekinsale) and some are not (Jessica Simpson). And by deal I mean that after I rejected enough list nominees and even offered up a few suggestions of my own (Zooey Deschanel) Kevin finally gave in.

Kevin: I'm gonna have to add Fergie to my list.

Me: Fergie is not sanctioned.

Kevin: Why not?

Me: Well, she's drag-queenish and kind of slutty. Same reason Pam Anderson is not sanctioned.

Kevin: But she’s hot, and maybe the list needs some slutty.

Me: Your list is getting really long you know...

Kevin: So she’ll be second-string.

Me: You’re grasping.

Kevin: Besides I should have an older woman on my list...

Me: And Fergie's OLDER?

Kevin: Yeah she's like in her mid-30's.

Me: I want you to think about how old your WIFE is, and then think about what you just said.

Kevin: I love you…

That cute boyish grin gets him out of more trouble...


Stacy Ann Ferguson was born on March 27, 1975, a mere 3 months before said wife.