Most people know what THE LIST is, but for those who don't (or who never saw that episode of "Friends") THE LIST is a record of 5 celebrities one is allowed to bed without retribution by one's significant other. It's pure fantasy, but apparently even my fantasy life needs rules. So, Kevin and I have a deal where by some list-nominees are sanctioned (Kate Bekinsale) and some are not (Jessica Simpson). And by deal I mean that after I rejected enough list nominees and even offered up a few suggestions of my own (Zooey Deschanel) Kevin finally gave in.
Kevin: I'm gonna have to add Fergie to my list.
Me: Fergie is not sanctioned.
Kevin: Why not?
Me: Well, she's drag-queenish and kind of slutty. Same reason Pam Anderson is not sanctioned.
Kevin: But she’s hot, and maybe the list needs some slutty.
Me: Your list is getting really long you know...
Kevin: So she’ll be second-string.
Me: You’re grasping.
Kevin: Besides I should have an older woman on my list...
Me: And Fergie's OLDER?
Kevin: Yeah she's like in her mid-30's.
Me: I want you to think about how old your WIFE is, and then think about what you just said.
Kevin: I love you…
That cute boyish grin gets him out of more trouble...
Stacy Ann Ferguson was born on March 27, 1975, a mere 3 months before said wife.
Showing posts with label Le Kevin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Le Kevin. Show all posts
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Conversation Over Sunday Breakfast
Me: I think Peter Cetera made a big mistake when he left Chicago. I mean what - he had a couple duets and the theme from the Karate Kid?
Kevin: Hey the Karate Kid is a classic! I bet he made a lot of money off that song.
Me: We’re talking about the song not the movie. Do you ever here that song on the radio today? No. And Karate Kid two??? SO not a classic.
Kevin: Well it’s not THAT terrible. (This is where I try desperately to keep the coffee from coming up my nose.)
Me: Did the chick that Mr. Miagi loves in part 2 leave Okinawa and come back with them?
Kevin: No
Me: Why is it the movies end with them getting the girl, but then at the start of the sequel they’ve broken up?
Kevin: Well in 2 Ralph broke up with the girl…
Me: No no no Elizabeth shoe dumped his ass.
Kevin: Yeah but only because he wouldn’t put out.
Me: You’re telling me Elizabeth Shoe dumped Daniel because he wouldn’t have sex with her?
Kevin: Yeah. But in part 2 it was the other way around. See, Daniel wanted to get some but the oriental girl was all good.
Me: Asian. People are Asian – things are Oriental.
Kevin: Whatever. They didn’t start getting bad tough until Karate Kid 4. Three was ok.
Me: With Hillary Swank?
Kevin: No Ralph Machio.
Me: There’s no Karate Kid 3 with Ralph Machio.
Kevin: Yes there is - Ralph Machio and Mr. Miagi try to open their own dojo but the punk with the spiky hair messes it all up. You know the spiky haired guy – what’s his name? Eric….Eric Barnes*. Daniel tries to crane kick him but he catches his foot. That one’s not as bad as 4.
Me: So part 4 is the one with Hillary Swank.
Kevin: Yeah – she’s not hot yet. And the karate isn’t even that good.
*The rival fighter character in KK3 was named Mike Barnes, not Eric.
Kevin: Hey the Karate Kid is a classic! I bet he made a lot of money off that song.
Me: We’re talking about the song not the movie. Do you ever here that song on the radio today? No. And Karate Kid two??? SO not a classic.
Kevin: Well it’s not THAT terrible. (This is where I try desperately to keep the coffee from coming up my nose.)
Me: Did the chick that Mr. Miagi loves in part 2 leave Okinawa and come back with them?
Kevin: No
Me: Why is it the movies end with them getting the girl, but then at the start of the sequel they’ve broken up?
Kevin: Well in 2 Ralph broke up with the girl…
Me: No no no Elizabeth shoe dumped his ass.
Kevin: Yeah but only because he wouldn’t put out.
Me: You’re telling me Elizabeth Shoe dumped Daniel because he wouldn’t have sex with her?
Kevin: Yeah. But in part 2 it was the other way around. See, Daniel wanted to get some but the oriental girl was all good.
Me: Asian. People are Asian – things are Oriental.
Kevin: Whatever. They didn’t start getting bad tough until Karate Kid 4. Three was ok.
Me: With Hillary Swank?
Kevin: No Ralph Machio.
Me: There’s no Karate Kid 3 with Ralph Machio.
Kevin: Yes there is - Ralph Machio and Mr. Miagi try to open their own dojo but the punk with the spiky hair messes it all up. You know the spiky haired guy – what’s his name? Eric….Eric Barnes*. Daniel tries to crane kick him but he catches his foot. That one’s not as bad as 4.
Me: So part 4 is the one with Hillary Swank.
Kevin: Yeah – she’s not hot yet. And the karate isn’t even that good.
*The rival fighter character in KK3 was named Mike Barnes, not Eric.
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