Conversation Over Sunday Breakfast

Me: I think Peter Cetera made a big mistake when he left Chicago. I mean what - he had a couple duets and the theme from the Karate Kid?

Kevin: Hey the Karate Kid is a classic! I bet he made a lot of money off that song.

Me: We’re talking about the song not the movie. Do you ever here that song on the radio today? No. And Karate Kid two??? SO not a classic.

Kevin: Well it’s not THAT terrible. (This is where I try desperately to keep the coffee from coming up my nose.)

Me: Did the chick that Mr. Miagi loves in part 2 leave Okinawa and come back with them?

Kevin: No

Me: Why is it the movies end with them getting the girl, but then at the start of the sequel they’ve broken up?

Kevin: Well in 2 Ralph broke up with the girl…

Me: No no no Elizabeth shoe dumped his ass.

Kevin: Yeah but only because he wouldn’t put out.

Me: You’re telling me Elizabeth Shoe dumped Daniel because he wouldn’t have sex with her?

Kevin: Yeah. But in part 2 it was the other way around. See, Daniel wanted to get some but the oriental girl was all good.

Me: Asian. People are Asian – things are Oriental.

Kevin: Whatever. They didn’t start getting bad tough until Karate Kid 4. Three was ok.

Me: With Hillary Swank?

Kevin: No Ralph Machio.

Me: There’s no Karate Kid 3 with Ralph Machio.

Kevin: Yes there is - Ralph Machio and Mr. Miagi try to open their own dojo but the punk with the spiky hair messes it all up. You know the spiky haired guy – what’s his name? Eric….Eric Barnes*. Daniel tries to crane kick him but he catches his foot. That one’s not as bad as 4.

Me: So part 4 is the one with Hillary Swank.

Kevin: Yeah – she’s not hot yet. And the karate isn’t even that good.


*The rival fighter character in KK3 was named Mike Barnes, not Eric.

Rekindling the flame of an old love...

Once upon a time a wee young Cali, at the ripe old age of three, fell in love with a handsome young gent named Wilbur...

It mattered not that he was being brazenly persued by that cunning tart Fern, or that he seemed infatuated with an eight-legged creature on her death bed. She was happy just to gaze upon the pastel portrait she'd woken her mother at 6am to create.

As often happens when a young girl grows, she soon lost interest in the unatainable love of a pig obsessed with spiders and ill-advised relationships. Her affection was soon bestowed on a more emotionally available pig.

He was sweet and gentle, generous with affection, and they shared a fondness for balloons. But alas it wasn't meant to be. The poor, dear piglet simply had one too many phobias. Before she could discover commitment was on the list, the young girl turned her eyes to creatures of a braver make-up, and soon forgot all about that piglet and his trembling.

Some years later when the wee girl was a full-grown woman, an amazing creature stired up all those long-forgotten emotions and she wondered if it was true love at long last. He was joyfull, like Wilbur, and sweet like Piglet, but he was also brave, charismatic and a true friend. Sure he thought he was a dog, but she thought he was the bee's knees.Alas, he was a work-aholic who's loyalty didn't extend beyond the office fence.

Many more years past and the woman thought she'd never find a pig of her own until she spied these...

Perhaps she'll be having a conversation with Kevin soon about her rekindled romance, because oh dear is she in trouble!